Just like a six pack is created in the kitchen great sex and intimacy is created outside of the bedroom.
Most people believe they need to become more adventurous and creative in the bedroom when their sex life seems to be dying out or has become a chore. This is certainly a great thing to try however no sex toys and new positions in the world can create the want and need for intimacy as well as connecting with your partner outside of the bedroom during the day and then bring this spark in to the bedroom.
Men and women are generally stimulated by such different things and there is no way that fits all. It’s all about becoming curious to your partners needs and ask them what really turns them on, what makes them feel special and wanted because this is the gateway to intimacy and great sex.
Men can generally “go off” on seeing a naked body whilst women need more mental stimulation, they need to hear, see and feel that you care for them and that they are important to you in order for them to want to be intimate.
This takes planning and thought and is not something that just magically happens as soon as the lights go off, if you haven’t put in the work. Just like a healthy and fit body takes consistent work in order to stay that way, the same goes for healthy, passionate and long-lasting relationships.
Some people enjoy spending quality time with their partner, to be heard and have meaningful conversations where you really listen and is present instead of using technology whilst half listening.
Some prefer being acknowledged or complimented for little things that can be easily taken for granted in a relationship over time,such as thanking them for cooking a lovely meal, putting fuel in their car, paying the bills, cleaning the house or for looking nice in their new dress or shirt.
Some prefer if you do things for them that are thoughtful such as offering to run an errand that is not usually on your agenda, cleaning their car, mowing the lawn, cooking, cleaning or preparing lunch for the next day.
Some prefer little unexpected thoughtful gifts here and there that shows you have really taken the time to consider what they like and enjoy. The thought and effort put into this is more important than buying an expensive gift for the sake of it being expensive rather than thoughtful. You may need help with this if you haven’t done this before and can always ask their best friend what they would prefer if you are stuck.
Some prefer any form of physical touch regularly, this can be anything from sitting close on the couch, holding hands, putting your arm around them in public, a warm long hug or sex.
This comes down to asking what they prefer and how and there is no right or wrong here, they will simply adore you for taking an interest in what makes them feel good. Making an effort to pay attention to what your partner needs rather than assuming they can read your mind will not only elevate a lot of frustration and arguments but also create log lasting love and intimacy in your relationship.