Want to get off the dating treadmill

Most people are so certain about what they don’t want and so good at describing this person, they actually end up attracting what they don’t want.

We live in a world where we focus on all that we don’t want due to previous experiences.

The hurt from our last relationship, or every relationship we have ever had, is like an echo in our heads. We don’t put ourselves out there to have another go due to the risk of being hurt again.

This becomes the “Fear of Relationship itis” and we do everything we can to protect ourselves from repeating the cycle.

One very effective way of breaking this pattern is to start focusing on what we really want in a partner, becoming very specific in how we want to experience love and relationships.

Becoming clear on what values, interest, family background, future goals and aspirations we would like our partner to have so we can then start attracting this instead.

Physical aspects are really important and needs to be on our list, however all other aspects are equally important. The more specific we become the more likely we are to attract a person with these attributes.

We can then have very different conversations with any potential partner we meet and early detect if they are a match for us or not.

We then avoid problems further down the track when our values and future goals don’t seem to match up anymore as we fall out of love.

We wouldn’t buy a house on the whim, so why would we date someone hoping for the best?